Slopes and Sam
Tasteful. Erotic. Hideous.
06-06-05 by Sam
Let me begin by saying that if Dave Grohl’s teeth ever go up for auction on ebay, I’ll be the guy who keeps outbidding you. So save your money for a house or something. Not a car, they’re a bad investment. And don’t ever take out a loan to buy a car. James did, and look where it got him: happily entrenched in his own opulent lifestyle. The skin crawls.
Apparently the Foo Fighters are playing at this year’s MTV Movie Awards. Lucky bastards. They get to hang backstage with a veritable who’s who of popular culture. Just think: they’ll be meeting stars that you and I haven’t even heard of. I’m moist just thinking about it.
But why are the Foo Fighters playing at the awards? Well, as today’s comic insinuates, they’re replacing Nine Inch Nails, who pulled out at the last minute because they wanted to play their single The Hand That Feeds, in front of a large picture of our glorious President, aka George W Bush, and weren’t allowed to.
Although by “our President”, I actually mean “your President”. I’m from Australia (which you may have seen in such classics as Mission Impossible 2 and The Power of One), and as such share none of the power to elect an American President, yet take little comfort in the absolution of responsibility that goes along with that.
Sorry. Where was I? That’s right. I was urging you to ask yourself why Nine Inch Nails would want to sing in front of a banner of that particular world leader? Go on. It's a simple enough question.
Alright, fine. It’s because his song has a message that many people haven’t grasped just yet. They’ve stupidly assumed that the message for The Hand That Feeds is the same as every other Nine Inch Nails song: I’m depressed and/or angry, when in fact the message actually is: you are stupid.
But people have been trying to convey this to the populace for thousands of years. It’s a tradition that dates all the way back to Jesus. In fact, there’s a fable about it in his by-proxy-autobiography: there’s a couple who live in a garden somewhere, and they get to have unprotected sex all day long, without having to worry about STDs or getting pregnant. Then a snake invents marketing and fucks everything up.
That’s where the Bible should end. That pretty much covers everything. So why would Trent feel the need to reiterate this one more fucking time, in song form no less?
Well, sometimes shit happens, and it’s human nature to respond in some way. Whether it’s by producing a hit single, or invading an oil rich country, there’s a need to salve the conscience there. And at the end of the day, that’s pretty much what life is all about.
That, and owning a fucking nice car.
-Sam
06-06-05 by Sam
It seems only polite to say thank you to the theninhotline, the most prolific source of Nine Inch Nails news on the net, for linking me. In return, I thought it would be nice to link them.
Also, if you found your way here courtesy of their directions, and are still feeling slightly disoriented, there's another Trent related comic here, and one about Manson here. There's also a whole lot of comics that have nothing to do with Nine Inch Nails listed in the archives.