Well, it'd be useful...
The Comic

26-05-05 by Sam

Today’s strip is ripped from today’s headlines. Although by “today” I mean several days ago. It’s also the second strip to be scripted by Slopes. If you see him, give him a pat on the back for me.

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing a good movie. It was only twenty minutes long, and it was unfortunately couched within two hours of relative garbage.

As you’ve probably guessed, I’m talking about Revenge of the Sith. I found myself enjoying the eye-candy (surprisingly, this didn’t include Natalie Portman), but being heartily dissatisfied with the movie as a whole. There was the aforementioned brief dalliance with brilliance, between the moment when Anakin discovered Palpatine’s true nature, and when Mace Windu flew out a window. For twenty minutes, I was watching a masterpiece by a capable film maker. I actually sat up and leaned forward a little.

And yet, the moment after Mace flew out that window, and movie visibly clunked back into shitfulness. I sat back, got comfortable, and enjoyed the hideous glares I got for laughing when Portman appeared with some sort of swimming cap on.

If anyone wants to see Natalie acting well, watch Closer. Be warned, though, that you will have to put up with one of the wankiest scripts, and several of the most despicable characters ever to make it to the big screen.

Hayden Christensen, on the other hand, should be buried in some sort of marsh and left there until he becomes a kind of useful, slow-burning fuel.

Well anyway. Go see it. It’s culture. Unfortunately.


27-05-05 by Sam

Just a quick note to anyone who didn't believe that I know Mike: Not only do I know that fucker, but I own a picture of him that could only be described as tasteful, erotic and hideous.  However, I'm not going to post it here without permission.  I'm nice that way.

I might as well take the opportunity to say hi to Shane, Dirt, Katie, John, Doug (the handsomest man I've ever met), Chad, Brian, Wendy & Peter, Chris (who has more potential to be great than anybody else I've ever met, despite being locked away in pseudo-Xanadu), Pat (disturbingly smart and just plain disturbing), Josh, and of course, Aiden.

If I left anyone out, it's probably because I didn't like you.

You guys may think midwest America is a shithole, but I remember it as though it were an exotic trip to Australia or something.  Come on, it was exotic.  People actually believe in God over there.  You know, kind of like those guys in capes you see around the place who can speak Elvish.

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