Slopes and Sam

09-05-05 by Sam

Unfortunately for everybody, I'm afraid it's true.  Franz Ferdinand are planning to release another album.

I've recently been made aware of some disturbing statistics about the music charts.  Usher, apparently, has been in them for fifty eight weeks.  My mouth is bristling with scathe, and yet even this doesn't feel like enough to convey my antipathy.  Go and listen to Confessions and tell me this isn't a man you'd like to beat with a crowbar.  And after that, you'd take his $5000 dollar shoes, and you'd throw them in a river.  You don't want those fucking shoes for yourself, you've already got a perfectly good pair that don't make you look like a tool.  Maybe you can't dance like him, but you probably know who Public Enemy are.

I'm willing to bet all the money in this room (ten Australian dollars, seven Euros, and a hundred or so Czech crowns) that for every guy who was inspired to confess his sins by Usher, there's a girl who rode him twice as hard that night to prove herself a worthy fuck.

The Killers are still floating around the top after forty six weeks?  Well, they can enjoy it while it lasts.  I've got a funny feeling that we won't be seeing them again.

Lil Jon on the charts at all?  Last time I looked, he wasn't even a musician.

I'm sorry.  Now and then my brain wakes up, looks around, and passes out again from the unbelievable excess of stupid.  The music industry is like a modern day Catholic Church: making a killing by selling shit they just made up.  They have an unlimited supply, because it comes out of thin air.  And they have an unlimited customer base, because people are easily fooled.

There's a reason why we're called the ignorant masses.

And me?  Well, right now I'm listening to Nine Inch Nails.  Make of that what you will.  I don't give a shit.

What are you listening to?

-Sam